Character Profile High-energy, lovable, and thick as two short planks. To be played with a best friend vibe. Scene One COMIC: (Running on stage) Whoo! Hello, Brinkburg! (Response) Oh, come on, you can do better than that. I’ve heard more noise from a bag of cotton wool! Let’s try again. Hello Brinkburg! (Response) Perfect! Now, listen, it’s a big day. It’s the Festival of Lights tonight, and my Mam, Dame Mona Lot, is in a right state. She’s trying to run for the Council, you know. Her slogan is: Mona Lot - she’ll cut your hair and your taxes. Personally, I think she’d have more luck running for the exit! We’re so broke that the mice in our salon have started a GoFundMe page just to buy a block of cheddar. If you see any customers wandering around with a lot of money and a lot of hair, send them our way, alright? Now, it’s fair to say, I’m not very good at introductions! My name is [INSERT NAME]! I help my Mam at the hair salon, mainly looking after the King’s hair. Yes, His Majesticals has enormous testimonials! But he’s gone and stolen my comb - that was hard to part with. So, now I’ve moved onto wigs, so if there is anybody around who is looking for a hairpiece or wig, we offer them for only £10. That’s a small price toupee! Scene Two COMIC: Name for the appointment, please! FLYNN: Smell mop. COMIC: (Checking a clipboard) Smell mop who? FLYNN: No, thank you! DAME MONA: No threatening the customers. Customers! Oh! Real, breathing customers! Welcome to Mona’s Moans and Makeovers. COMIC: Mam, focus! We could make a bucketload of money today. It’s the Festival of Light! DAME MONA: Money? I haven’t seen money since the King was a lad and a loaf of bread cost a halfpenny. Business is so slow, even the shop mirrors are bored. COMIC: I saw a spider spinning a web on a customer's head yesterday. I didn’t stop him; it was the first weave we’ve done in months! But look, Mam! This girl’s hair! (Pointing to Rapunzel) It’s huge! It’s giant! It’s.. It’s a lot of brushing! DAME MONA: I’ll need a bigger shop and a mountain rescue team to find the ends of that! Now, go and get the industrial-strength conditioner. COMIC: We don’t have any, Mam. You used the last bottle to grease the hinges on the front door so the debt collectors couldn't hear us hiding inside!